My resolution for 2010... is to grow an ego...

But not too much of one of course. Just a Goldilox sized ego and a bit of a thicker skin while I'm creating my wish list. Let's backtrack slightly...

I've been quite busy these past few months. Dragon*Con was 20-hours days of the most epic sci-fi/fantasy themed part that I had ever been to. For those who have never heard of or been there, it's a 60k person convention in the heart of Atlanta, Ga. Spread out over a series of 4 massive hotels, 24 hour a day programming from start to finish... if you can stay awake the whole time, there will be something scheduled for you to do. It was an amazing experience. The pannel for Browncoats:Redemption was an overwhelming success as well with our "street team" having handed out nearly 6,000 postcards advertizing the time and location. In a room that held 250 individuals, we packed it above fire code and had to turn people away. It was fantastic. It was riding high on a cloud the rest of the time.

Work got back in full swing as well. I'm finding an increasing dislike for the politics and supposed 'benefits' of state employment. It's changing me in a way that I am not taking kindly to. I see people, co-workers, who might work an average of a solid 9-10 hours a week out of a 35 hour work week. I look at myself, objectively, and see that at my 'best' week I might work myself between 20-25 hours. Somehow, that makes me look a head and shoulders above all the rest and a real 'enthusiastic young go-getter'. I'm increasingly disturbed by this. Disturbed enough that if I can find a simple way to get some kind of decent health insurance, even at COBRA rates, I'd take it and start from scratch. Yes, even in this employment climate. Maybe I'm a fool... but it'd one of the first employment (or lack thereof) choices that I've actually made myself rather than simply settling into what I've found myself in. [These thoughts are predominately in the "thinking out loud" category]

Big Apple Comic Con was more or less a bust. A day spent handing out a mere handful of cards and of all the special guests I was willing (or able) to pay for was Miracle Laurie who was an absolute doll, no pun intended. The nicest most down to earth I've met. She was the sole highlight of the convention.

Creation's Firefly/Serenity convention in LA was an experience not to be forgotten. Went out early to see an old friend, got to watch the new Star Trek movie on the bridge of the Enterprise D, went places and met people I'm not legally allowed to even tell anyone about yet. Love to go into more detail, really I would. But suffice it to say, I met just about all the actors that were there and then some. Solidified some friendships, made some new ones and memories to last it all.

As for what started this post... I've been watching a lot of tv/movies in the past month noting all kinds of inconsistencies, ways they achieved desired effects, critiquing story... looking at all of these things with a new eye. While I'm sure this is all due to my working on Redemption, it's made me all too aware that I haven't made good on working toward some of the dreams I had when I was younger. Ever since Babylon 5 I've wanted to make science fiction stories. That's most of the reason why I have the entire scriptbook colection and then some. My thought being" If I have the blueprint for this show, then I can use it to make my own from. It would be like having a walk-through to how it was done before so I could do it for my own while learning from the trials of others. I can see now it's not going to be quite that simple but the frame work holds albeit loosely. A lot of the behind the scenes that I've watched, directors interviews, creators diaries, etc have all talked about 'making the movie/tv show that they wanted to watch'. Perhaps it was Spielberg or Lucas who said it best, and I loosely paraphrase, if I make the best possible show that I want to watch then there are going to be others out there who are going to like it and watch it too. I can't imagine a writer making a living writing books on a subject or in a genra he or she abhors. I've gotta grow just enough of an ego so that I feel more than just a want, but a need to write the stories or shows or movies that I want to see, and to believe that others will want to see them too. Right along with that, the thicker skin that when someone doesn't want to, that's ok too. Most of my friends from HS would never be caught willingly going to Star Trek or seeing any of the hundreds of tv show episodes of various sci-fi programming that I've watched. I've missed out on workshops and conventions because I didn't have, or didn't have enough orriginal material to submit to be considered to invite (Viable Paradise I'm looking at you). I think it's about high time that I change that. So here's to unexpected and extra-ordinary new years resolutions, a right sized ego and a thicker skin. Welcome 2010.

Pre-Meeting Procrastination

We've got a huge meeting in about half an hour with all of the people from my particular unit spread out across the state. They're all driving here to the main office, where I work, and going through a day long meeting that will inevitably be filled with more hours of useless information and tactics to evade responsibility than productive dialog. Don't get me wrong, I do like my job quite a lot, but the typical demeanor of what seems to be most of the people I meet who are also state employees, well... it sucks. It seems like many of them never got off of the entitlement bandwagon and spend half the time complaining about what the State hasn't given them or has taken away from them and the rest of the time trying to get out of what they're supposed to be doing. The fact that my supervisor said the other day, "Well, I asked Person X to do this task, but we'll have to see if she actually does it." My jaw still hits the floor after almost two years of hearing language like that. "To see if she does it"?? Are you freaking kidding me!!! You were told to do it, so you do it damn it!!! There are so many people like that I've come across I can't imagine how my job isn't one of the most secure in the whole freaking Agency.

Ok, I'm done now. On to happier news, I was more productive yesterday than I've been in probably the last month combined. I wrote all 19 back case-notes from client visits, actually made a healthy dinner and my Teavanna tea, finished editing the wedding video, organized all 8,691 songs on my computer, and cleaned my e-mail inbox from 679 to 4. I don't know what came over me, but I like it.

So, if there's one thing that I've learned...

It's that any time I get a week to ten days behind in something I'm supposed to be doing regularly, it seems like too insurmountable a task for me to catch up. Most recent point in case: regular daily blog posting. I'd like to say I'll get to it, but that seems to repeatedly set myself up for failure. (side note: at this point I've written more in these 3 minutes than the previous 7 hours a post had been open for me to write in) I did discover some things today though. One of the most important being, that I think one of the reasons for my severe lack of productivity at home is because I do/did too much in my room and have developed habits (for lack of a better word) that I can't break. You know how they *expert people* say that sometimes people think of eating at night when they go to bed because they eat in their room, or a student can't focus on homework as well in his room as s/he can when sitting at a desk or table... well one or two things like that has never been an issue for me. However, I eat, sleep, play, work, create, film, photograph, talk, write, and have worked through a mild depression all in my room here at my parent's house. Somewhere, one of those must have been the straw because I routinely feel a sense of paralysis in that I can't do what I need or want to. Another reason, I want my own place, and soon.

I was able to write my case notes from visiting my clients at the library with very little trouble. Less than if I were writing them either at home or the office. The latter I need to make sure I get in check sooner rather than later. There were times, before I had my current job responsibilities, where I would be waiting for things to do, or on no specific project with any specific deadline and was more or less just there waiting for them to give me something to do, and I got in the habit of reading articles. And not just one or two, but like 20 or 30 a day. Digg, Google News, NY Times, CNN, AP, Reuters, and then I started reading blogs too... It's sure been one way to keep my Google Reader nice and neatly at '0' but tends to slow the start of my day, and after lunch. Probably something I should fix sooner rather than later.

This is a test...

To see if the new blogger gadget I added into my iGoogle home page will let me post to my blog while I'm at work, thus further decreasing what was otherwise a rather high level of productivity. More back-posting to continue tonight now that I finally have some free evenings to do them. Gotta live a life before you can write about one, yes?

November 13:

Thursday

This morning I dropped my car off at my friendly, neighborhood Honda dealership. I enjoy going in there when my car needs some TLC. I've got a few of the technicians whom I'm friendly with and get joke around from the second I get in until I walk out the door. The last time I went in, I walked out with a $2300 bill that I didn't anticipate getting. Needless to say that kinda drained me for the next few months (from September till, well, now) so I tried to get them to promise me to keep it under a hundred dollars. Luckily it was only the driver side seat belt that had failed and those are covered for the lifetime of the car! So not only was it under a hundred, it was free :-)

Also had my 2-month review at work today. Quite hard to believe that it's been 2 months already but that's what the paper from HR said so might have well as been a page from the Bible as far as I'm concerned. As soon as I got to my supervisor's office she just said, "sign here". No discussion, no hesitation, she had already filled out 'exemplary performance' and it was literally a 45 second review. I love situations like that!

Edit: To close the open thread about my drivers license. I said screw it and went to the DMV this morning (Thursday) before I dropped my car off and just got a new one. Turns out it was up for renewal and from the way the dates worked out, it had been expired since March of 2008. So whatever karmic luck that made me loose it, also made me get it renewed should I (knock on wood) get pulled over anytime in the future.

November 7: Not enough time in the day

I love my job. I loved it before, and I love the many new aspects and responsibilities that I have in it now. The benefits are great, my coworkers(most of them) are awesome, and my students are proving a very varied and diverse bunch of interesting and sometimes challenging young adults. One of the things, that most of my friends give me a lot of shit for, is the copious amounts of time off. For example, in the typical 35 hour work week that I have, this week I got paid for the full 35 while actually working only perhaps 20, and less than that when you factor in that some of my job I got paid for driving to and from the schools my students are at. Awesome, right? Well, yes... but also very much no. Sometimes, I work so little that I can't get everything done in the hours I'm being paid for. This means that I have to make a conscious decision that I've gotta get stuff done in some of my 'free time' and that I'm not going to get paid for it. I do it, as much because it relives my stress of not having things done that I need to have done, and hope that eventually I'll work out a routine/schedule that allows me to get everything done I need to as well as have all this crazy time off.

I'm at a friend's house all weekend 'camping' as we're still calling it. I mean, it's at his house, on 10 wooded acres which doesn't get cellular phone reception. Might as well be in the middle of the woods in some state park. Should be a good time!

November 6:

I've re-discovered a love from my past. A love all the way from back during middle school actually. The 24oz. 99cent cans of Arizona Iced Teas. I remember going through the lunch lines in middle school and it was always my preferred drink of choice. There was enough of it there to quench my thirst without feeling like it was too small of a portion and a very sound buy. I mean, you couldn't get any other drink of that size for that price.

At the Agency, my co-worker Maggie(obvi not her real name) and I usually go out for coffee in the afternoons, and lunch, and walks, and anything else we can do that's a break from the work we're supposed to be doing. Instead of getting what we usually get, I've been trying to switch to healthier and if possible, also cheaper alternatives. It's been a slow process with lunch, but the afternoon coffee has been more successful. I've not only worked myself down to medium coffee's when I do get them, but I found that there's a store that has the Arizona Iced Teas that I used to get in middle school. Not only do they have the awesome original iced tea, but about 15 other flavors: kiwi-strawberry, grape, black&white, energy, plumb, honey and ginseng, etc... I can't even name them all, it's fantastic.

The other fantastic part about it, is that I've gotten to know the guys who run the place now, so they see me with the tea, I hand them the dollar and walk out the door. I think that's probably the coolest thing about the whole situation. Story: When I was younger, sometimes I'd go with my father to pick up the Sunday paper. Being the creatures of habit that we humans are, he'd go to the same place every time to get it. He'd look through to make sure it had all the sections in it, and then walk past everyone in the line, drop the 75cents on the counter, nod to the clerk, and walk out. I thought this was the absolute coolest thing on the face of the planet. My father was so special and known that he didn't even have to wait in line to buy his paper, he could just go right on past and walk out. Now, I know better, but it still reminds me of how cool it seemed then.

Overtime

So, it's official. My inherited caseload is so massively screwed up that I can't even start on any one new, let alone do what I need to for existing clients because what's on the computer end and what's in the physical file end aren't even close. There are unquestionably over a hundred individuals that I need to track down, close from my services, transfer to co-workers, transfer to other agencies, or worst of all, make up their info to get them off of my grid (my list) because there so far out of our system we have no contact info for them. So, until further notice, my work hours just became 8am to 6pm every day. As much of a pain in the royal behind this is going to be, I am really happy that I can build up 15+ hours of 'comp time'. Comp time basically means that I can just add it to any random day whenever I feel like it to make it add up to a full day. Example, I visit clients till noon, write on my time sheet I used comp time to fill up the rest of my required hours for the day, and then go rafting for the rest of the day on the river that happens to be close to the client I just went to see. We can store up to 60 hours and then the Powers That Be take it away from us with no reimbursement. Which, when thought about is reasonable enough considering with my 35 hour work week it's continual, self replenishing vacation time. And that doesn't count in our actual vacation, sick, or administrative time given to us. I've got two words for that: sweet deal.

I met with the financial planner guy who one of my employee's I hired seasonally last year gave my name too. After doing some research on the company he represents, I came to the quick conclusion that if I went out looking for someone in his field rather than him finding me, I would have most definitely chosen his company. He's a part of Northwestern Mutual has an unbelievably impressive and stable history in personal wealth management and life insurance. If they could maintain all of their workforce and even grow a little bit during the Great Depression of the 1920's, then whatever economic crisis we're going through now also shouldn't be a problem. Since I have a feeling that I will end up investing/starting some financial relationship with him, I'm going to use the name Tony for whenever I talk about him. No, not Chris's Tony but rather because of Tony Soprano. It entertains me greatly to nickname him for the most famous, fictitious, Jersey mobster and to think that he's in charge of my future financial stability. I'm easily amused...

Yesterday (because I passed out at 6:30 until my alarm this morning and didn't get to write or anything else for that matter), after job shadowing my counterpart in the southern part of the state I met Dzia to hang out for a bit. I hadn't seen her since she came up on a rainy Saturday three weekends back attempting to wash our cars together. Were I not a bit under the weather and the weather a bit warmer than it was we might have washed them anyway, but ultimately decided Starbucks was a better plan. Anyway, we met on the River and did all the fun cliche things that a boy and a girl do, talked, laughed, skipped rocks, joked around, went for a walk, etcetera etcetera. It was nice to see her and I did have a really good time. I really do believe that when she and I had our 'go round' the first time we just met a bit too early in each of our lives, and now, while we've got better timing in that respect, we just gotta not go too fast and we just might end up with something... or, at least there's the possibility of it. Just the fact that she entertained and seemed enthused at the idea of coming to Vegas with myself and a few friends is a significant step from whence I last knew her.

My Internet is actually out as I'm typing this, so if it doesn't come back up before I'm ready to head to sleep, which is quite soon, I have every intention of back dating this post to the proper day and time. Now if only there were a way to transfer this to my Kindle and I could post it from there...

The rumors of my disappearance have been greatly... well, maybe slightly exaggerated...

But that doesn't mean that I'm back here full time yet either. For those of you who don't know me in real life, I'm currently running a work skills training program for blind or visually impaired high school aged students. I'm the Coordinator of Student Life, aka: Director of the program when the program manager (my boss) isn't around... which has been quite frequently. I oversee all activities related to dorm life (the students live on campus for 2 weeks), Independent Daily Living skills from showering to getting to class on time, recreational activities, schedules for Orientation and Mobility training, as well as overseeing my staff of 7 who interact directly with the students. I'm up every day at 6am and working till about 12am and then hanging and talking with my really really awesome staff until about 2am. I've been here since July 5th and will be here until August 2nd, at which point I will promptly fall face first onto my bed and sleep for at least a day. After that, I'm off to Vegas and Sequoia National Park with my parents for a mini vacation, and then I start work at The Agency full time!! I just got offered a permanent position and while I may be too tired to be excited about it now, I'm pretty sure inside I am. I'm going to be a Transition Counselor for students aged 14-21 for the northern part of my state. Getting them technology, sitting in on IEP meetings, making sure they have an IPE when they graduate, getting them any and all other services they need, that's me for about 200 of them. It may sound like a lot, but believe it or not, it's doable.

That's all for now, and probably the foreseeable next 3 weeks... I've got a metric shit-ton of stuff to do, and quite a long list of incidents/ideas for posts here or other writing so that hopefully once I've got my life back from this program, I'll be able to schedule a regular time to write and actually get some of this out of my head and into reality. I'll try not to make any more empty promises of this time or that time and just say, eventually.

Blogging the week in pictures (and subtitles) #1

I couldn't not walk through the set on my way to catch the 6:33am train...

Taped to the wall of Track 4 Section A.

Sometimes, I get a little bit OCD at work...

A routine visitor to my cubicle.

Finally, the first 150 copies of my report completed!

Blogmark - California

Like the scores of books sitting on myself with colored tassels hanging out of their tops and down their spines, marking places I've long since forgotten that I've read to, so this blogmark holds a place in my blog for my trip to California. This will be where I will explicate the following potentially confusing list of events.

In only a minor representation of no particular order, where:

- I met Gaius Baltar, the harbinger of death to the 12 colonies of Kobol, all for a hot blond and glowing spine;

- I met one of the most significant contemporary musical influences in my life currently;

- I learned that geeks everywhere can bond anywhere;

- Sleeping in an airport is an acceptable means of overnight accommodations;

- I walked 2 miles uphill because 1. I said I would and 2. was too stubborn to stop anywhere but the top;

- I decided to watch a tear-jerker of a movie on a plane surrounded by 5 adult women from the same eye doctor's office coming back from a conference of some sort, presumably having to do with optometry;

- I helped DS successfully think up a good excuse to play hookey from work and spend the day roaming her world, meeting her friends, and enjoying her company just like the old times;

- I traveled the countryside to have lunch with far off friends, because they weren't so far off anymore;

- I decided it was a great idea to take a 10:25pm flight to get me home at 6:45am after the appropriate amount of time and time zone adjustments, and then go right to work at The Agency (my blind co-workers can't see me sleeping, so I won't actually be sleeping then, right?)

- I now go to sleep to rest for my last day with the ocean on the wrong side me and turn off DS's iTunes I've been enjoying listening to (I forgot how much I missed my Robert Miles cassette tape, which I should probably get on CD now...)

I love Germans... and other various happenings

It's 3:30am and in the past week I've had enough meat and beer to kill a small elephant. Seriously, I'm not trying to stereotype an entire culture, but the 5 Germans that I've spent time with this past week really do live on beer, bread, meat, and cheese. Like, woah. Just this weekend, we've gone through almost 7 or 8 pounds of London Broil steak, and 4 cases of beer(not counting what we had out at bars). If you're thinking, "wow, that sounds really excessive" you're right. It is excessive, but lucky for my body 2 have left already, 2 leave tomorrow, and that leaves only one German here until the middle of April.

Besides the 'blitzkreig' on my digestive system, it's been such a blast having them here. M has been home on spring break, Surfer just got back from a stay in costa rica(for surfing), and since almost all the Germans have been friends of GC's he's been around all the time too. The cool thing about that, is that all 4 of us took an extensive amount of German in high school (personally, German 1,2,3,4,and AP, as well as a 201 and 301 in college, while both M, Surfer, and GC have spent a minimum of 6 months in Germany at one time or another in addition to the classes in school) So we'll be sitting around talking, or huddling by a bonfire to keep warm(like tonight) and spend 70% of the conversation all speaking in German. I've used my German more in the last two weeks then I have in the last two years combined and the improvement I can hear in myself is quite refreshing. I know that I've lost sooooo much having not spoken it often, but it's also coming back much quicker than I expected.

In other, non-German related news... the Intranet I have been developing since November finally went live on Thursday!!! It's still a bit sparse and a little rough, but it's up for testing and the scores of suggestions that I hope to get for content. It wasn't without it's glitches though. So, one of the things my boss's boss (the one who assigned me this project) wanted was a way for the counselors to all communicate with each other and have an interactive calendar for events they want to let other counselors know about. So I did my research and found an module for the PHPBB2.0.23 bulletin board/forum program. Great, it does everything we wanted and we couldn't ask for more. Well, I get the message Thursday freaking morning, that the servers we're hosting the Intranet on, are not allowed to have the language PHP installed on them. That forum, is made entirely in PHP. About 20 minutes later, I have a 4 page sheet on my desk outlining all the languages and programs that are either preferred, accepted, or denied. Would this not have been helpful for me to have oh... say... back in NOVEMBER!!!! I told boss's boss that he can forget about his counselor communication method for the foreseeable future until I find something else that will work. Luckily for me, he's also a geek like myself and knew exactly how stupid it was for them to refuse to install PHP and didn't blame me for it in any way.

After work on Thurs my boss, MJ, and I all went out for a few drinks to celebrate MJ's birthday. It was a lot of fun even just the 3 of us. We all get along really well, both in a professional and personal environment. I'm sure though, that we looked like quite the odd gathering, a man almost in his 50's with kids starting college, a woman in her 30's with a guide dog, and a 24 year old just getting started. Personally, I think my boss just wanted to hear stories of MJ and I when we were in college so he had an idea what his daughters were actually doing while they were away at school, especially since I've spent weekends parting at the school his eldest now goes to.

Saturday(technically today), I'm taking my mother to see a play of Macbeth staring Patrick Stewart(Captain Jean Luc Piccard/ Professor X) in Brooklyn. It will be my second time going and I'm so very excited.... again. The first time was utterly amazing, and I look forward to any more nuisances that I can pick up on this time around.

Sunday we'll undoubted do our traditional hunt for plastic, money filled easter eggs. We've done it every year as long as I can remember, and I still find it amazing that my father can hide those eggs in the same room for 10 years and my brother and I still usually have trouble finding the last few. After dinner then I head back to Philly, just about for good. I've got monthly train passes for April from Philly, basketball and indoor soccer leagues(kickball was canceled much to my dismay) start in just under 3 weeks, and I'd like to actually spend some time living in my apartment and city. Wednesday E and I are headed to a 76ers game and at some point the last German and GC are coming in to hang out and see the bars... I mean... sights :-)

Smooth Move (this is a stolen title)

So the title of this post is stolen. I stole it. I did that because it fits so absolutely perfectly to the ending of my day at work I couldn't not steal it. I'll take this moment to beg the writer's forgiveness for taking the title and even link back to her post just like if I were citing a source in a paper I was writing. Now, with that taken care of...

So today at work, the main event of the day, was moving the contents of my cubicle across the office to the my new cubicle. I think I like the new one much better than the old one I had. First, it's bigger... and when it comes to cubicle space, bigger is most definitely better. Second, it's part of a office wide reorganization to group units together, so now instead of getting 20 phone calls from a team member, she is within talking distance of me so she can just ask me whatever she needs. The second part of this second reason is now that I'm over so close to her, chances are I'll be getting a large, black, four-legged visitor walking over to my cubicle to say hello to me multiple times a day. I love my job :-)

So, I move all the big boxes of hanging file folders and desk organizers and miscellaneous Battlestar Galactica merchandise I've brought in to the new spot with no problems. I go back to bring boxes of paper that I use to print up copies of my report and I don't know if I was just tired and forgot to loosen my pants, or if they were defective to begin with, or what, but I kneel down and as I pick up the first case of paper, I hear a gigantic rip. As loud and as comical sounding a rip as you'd hear in any half hour sitcom on television. I almost thought it was fake, until I felt a draft...

Yes, that's right, it doesn't just happen on tv and in the movies, I split the ass seam of my pants right down the middle. I wasn't quite sure what to do that moment, since I still had the box of paper in my arms, so I looked out both directions of the cubicle, and then just walked over when no one was coming. No one had needle and thread for me to attempt some sort of re-seaming by hand on it (yes, I sew) nor saftey pins, so from 2pm until I left the office today, I had the arms of my jacket tied around my waist, coving the foot long hole exposing my boxers to my colleagues.

I was actually much less embarrassed than I would have though that I'd be in that situation, probably as a result of reading the original "smooth move" and remembering my own advice. Yeah, it felt a little awkward walking around making sure my coat was tied around my waist, but other than that... I think more people were confused by the amused smile I had on my face than anything else. So yes, that was my "smooth move" today and why I had to absolutely steal that title for this post. And just to prove it to anyone who thinks I'm telling a tall tale:

Rock around the clock...

Sun 10am: Wake up in Chicago to spend the last time of day with Actress before Surfer and I head back east.

Sun 12pm: We put in Office Space to watch for the first time. I thought it was ok, but thought the plot was super weak and couldn't relate at all. I actually love my job and love working in cubicles more than I ever expected to!

Sun 3pm: Get to airport and bid Chicago farewell.

Sun 4:30pm: Run into same Relationship Girl from Philly that we met on the flight here (what are the odds we all picked the same flights). If I didn't explain this before, I'll clarify later.

Sun 8pm: Back in Philly safely, got Surfer's luggage, and took taxi back to my apartment

Sun 9pm: I get the key that E left for me after he finished installing our new door, that actually closes and locks now! It'll be nice to feel safe in my own apartment again. Took out the garbage and showed Surfer my finally repaired car which he was mighty impressed with

Sun 10:30pm: Spend time at Surfer's house talking with his parents and helping him pack for Costa Rica which he was leaving for tomorrow

Sun 11:30pm: Finally decide that I'm going to drive Surfer and his friends to the airport in GW's truck once he gets back from NYC but after we drop Surfer's sister's car off to get fixed.

Monday 12:30am: Drop Surfer's sister's car off to get fixed. Narrowly avoid 3rd major accident by not getting hit by idiot who decided to run the red light when I was making a left turn on green. Unanimous decision to officially name my car "Lazarus" or "Laz" for short as a result of it's death and resurrection experiences. Finally, after 133,476 miles my car has an official name. I'm happy.

Mon 1am: Go over to GW's apartment to pick up his truck. Hang out with a random German and GW's little sis for a while.

Mon 1:30am: Back to Surfer's house where he makes pancakes for us to eat cause we didn't get dinner really and were still kinda hungry from the day's events. Realize at this point there will be no sleep tonight.

Mon 2:30am: Leave Surfer's house all packed, get gas for GW's truck, a Red Bull (the big 12oz) for me, and go to his friend's house to pick everyone else up.

Mon 3:45am: Pick the 4 of them up, load 11 surf boards and 5 bags into the bed of GW's truck and head to Newark Airport

Mon 4:45am: Get to Newark, drop Surfer and friends off safely and I head back to GW's with his truck since he needs it for work at 6:30am

Mon 6am: Drop keys and a $20 off at GW's place. The genius he is locked the front door, so I had to break into the back sliding door to leave the keys and money inside.

Mon 6:30am Get back to my parents house to change, get what I need for work, and write this post, because blogging is starting to become a minor obsession... and I like it.

PRESENT TIME: Finishing this post, making lunch, and getting ready to go to the train

For those of you keeping score, that's correct, I will have gotten exactly 0 hours sleep for work today! Luckily my main task for today is moving the contents of my cubicle across the office to be closer to the rest of my Executive Services Unit people. This means that I will now have a large black lab randomly wandering over into my cubicle during the day to say hi when he feels like it.... and that's made of awesomeness. I'd like to take this moment to once again thank my father's genetic history that allows me to do these crazy things to help out my friends. I'm really really glad that it's something I'm capable of doing.

And now, I'm off to work! Have a good day everyone!!!

Pre, during, and post weekend updates.

My day started at 5am today… after going to sleep at 2am (my own damn fault, but the pilot episode of New Amsterdam showed real promise for the rest of the series). I power-walked it all the way to the train station from my apartment (which is not easy to do that early in the morning) and made it on the train with 2 minutes to spare. For the first 5 station stops I think I seriously just contemplated what was going on in my head when I decided to move to Philadelphia. If E had said Hoboken, well now, that would have made an infinite amount more sense for me… but he didn’t, and I’m in Philly.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen when it’s Actress, E and I starting in August. If the 3 bedroom units aren’t available at the complex we’re at now, my time in Philly may be drastically shortened simply due to the cost of commuting to Newark. If I didn’t mention yet, that’s the plan starting in August. Actress is moving from Chicago to Philly to live with E and I which I think I’m excited about. At the very least it means that Surfer will be around more since they’ve got a ‘thing’ going on, and it’d be cool to have him around more. I love her to death and she’s one of my best friends, but if there’s one thing the apartment won’t be anymore, it is quiet :-P I don’t mind saying it here, cause it’s something I’ve said to her before, and she knows well. I try not to say anything I wouldn’t say to that person directly. Unless it’s one of those “I like you but I don’t know/doubt that you like me” situations… but that’s understandable.

The sun didn’t come up until I was already in Trenton, or get through the morning fog until I got to Newark. The ride from Trenton to Newark was a load of fun though. Two women and 4 little girls were all taking a trip to NYC, and the one woman was as talkative to strangers as my father is. So we chatted the entire ride. I explained to her how the trains work (they were from Delaware), talked about jobs, kids, teaching, and the progression from childhood through adolescence. It was exactly the positive experience in the morning that made up for having the off-peak train ticket, when I thought I had the peak ticket, which forced me to give the conductor my last dollar bill, and fish out 5 quarters, 4 dimes, and 2 nickels to complete the rest of my fare. I think he thought I was being an ass by giving him change, but that was seriously the only money I had with me… today’s pay day thankfully.

Tonight I leave for Chicago for Actress’s birthday! No, if you’re wondering, I really didn’t have the money to afford this plane ticket but fortunately and unfortunately it was bought before I realized the predicament that I was in. I’ll be paying for nothing but train tickets, gasoline, and bills for the next two months at least. Oh well, on the positive side, maybe they’ll be a financial incentive to start working out more and eating a bit less to get in ‘summer shape’ a little earlier this year. I’m starting to feel optimistic about even that. My car is finally back, fully repaired and running flawlessly so I can go rock climbing again and E and I are going to be joining a city indoor soccer and kickball (yes, an adult kickball league) starting the end of this month. I’ve missed organized sports.

Somehow that last paragraph went from Chicago to kickball… anyway.


Post Script:

I’m fully convinced that the copier on the second floor, not only has a personality of it’s own, it spites me for coming down only to print out more copies of my report, and is developing the means with which to strike back at me. I think it might be Skynet… details to follow if today isn’t Judgment Day.

Post Post Script (on Sunday at 3:31AM) Everything written above was from work on Friday when I was actually being productive in the office as well as writing a blog. I can't do much else when the copier is churning out 50 more coppies of my report... Apparently other people in the office liked it so much when the walked by my cubicle and saw it that they wanted some to give out to the trainings and things they're hosing in the coming weeks. That's on top of the 150 we're sending to every NJ state senator, state assemblyman, and county freeholder.

Right now I'm in Chicago and it's been overall a good time. Yes, I had the tendency to get in my usual overanalyzing mood, but other than that it's all good. After our plane got delayed 5 hours and we finally got to Chicago, we went to sleep. Saturday we went to the top of the Sears Tower, out to Giordano's for stuffed pizza for lunch, dropped Actress's sister off at the bus station to head back to school, then went out to dinner at a place aptly named "Stuff Yer Face", and then finished the night out at the Chicago Brauhaus which was the most kick ass bar I've ever been to. Nothing but true German beers on the menu, polka music (or polka renditions of familiar songs), and lots of musicians and waitresses and friends who spoke German! It felt really good to use it again... and to drink liter glasses of "ausgezeichnete Deutsches Bier"!!! *roughly translated, "awesome German beer" Now, it's time to sleep, because once again I decided to travel on the weekend where Daylight Savings Time changes (I think this is like 3 out of the last 4 times, no joke) and then we're cooking breakfast in the morning! Plane leaves for home at 4:25pm on Sunday and then work on Monday!

So what's the point of turning 24...

Sure, aging is inevitable, but seriously... 24? I actually Googled that question and do you know what I found out?? A whole lot of nothing, which obviously didn't help me one bit. It's one of those ages that just feels weird. It has no special significance attached to it. It's not old by any stretch of the imagination, but it's also not quite "frat house" young. It's just there... staring back at you just being like, "yep, here I am". Well, regardless, at 2:08pm today I'm one more year older.

So, how do I intend to spend my day you wonder? Well, besides starting now with this post, I'm going to go back to sleep for a few hours to wake up at 6am EST to catch the 6:30 train into Penn Station, and then transfer to another rail line to get to one of The Agency's training facilities where I'll be from 9-4 under going intense blindness immersion training. Yep, today and tomorrow I get to spend under blindfolds basically, learning traveling and life skills as if I were blind. Then back on the train to get back to my parents house around 6:30pm, cutting together video footage from this past summer's program for a presentation to the State Council on Friday, and then sleep. Now, this is what I have planned, there's every chance that some random other things will occur, like my family's traditional Carvel birthday ice cream cake, a few presents, and possibly a drink out if the weather's good, but we'll see. With the mood that permeated the house this evening(I can't wait to be back at my apartment), it might just be early to bed.... who knows.

Birthday wishes have already started coming in from Facebook, the first three nicely enough are from people who actually care, rather than just the annual birthday post-ers. It's always interesting to see who logs on to Facebook tomorrow and sees my birthday and decides to pop out of the wood work and say something. I'm half afraid, half hopeful that Jenny might call. If she realizes she probably will, and then I'll have that to deal with, and probably quite the rant to post about.

In any case, it's 2am, and I have to be up in 4 hours so I'd better take my birthday nap while I still can...

Ever try to get a retiree to work ahead of schedule...

And because I could not make such a herculean feat happen, I now have to work on Monday. How awesome is that. Is the entire report now done and together? Yes. Could this report have been together last week? Also, yes. However, because these freaking parts too so damn long, it might be late.... again. I look forward to eventually having the seniority to make people jump when I ask for things. Now, I'll be the first to admit it, I'm totally chock full of that young employee eagerness. I want it done, and have motivation to get it done because I haven't been jaded by who knows what. Seriously though, would it have killed him to humor me? I wrote what had to be written in about an hour. Anyway, it's ok... because I love The Agency.

I'll finally get to spend a night at my apartment since the accident. I'm headed back tonight to help pick up a friend from the airport and since it's closer to my apt then back home, it didn't take much to convince them to stay with me. Honestly, when I first moved in I was just kinda like, sure... why not, it helps out BigE, it'd be nice to have somewhere to retreat to, maybe even I could have a weekend place I could write poetry or a novel from in a city. It's turned into a most refreshing feeling of having my own, laid back, relaxed place from which to start my own life. If I'm up writing a blog post through 5am, so be it. If I want tea and to leave it out, or make pancakes, or do whatever there's no more comments to deal with, and if someone happens to make one, frakk 'em, it's my apartment.

So, Tiny Dancer sent me a letter today, just like she promised she would. It was very stream of consciousness, which she warned me about, but it was good. It's nice to see someone else's mind jump around and how it does to make me feel a bit less concerned about my own (in)sanity. No revelations really, but it was nice. I can't recall the last time I'd gotten a letter. Sure a card or two with a personal message inside, but that's different than a snail mail letter. About the only thing that could top that is if it would have been handwritten. I'm even more of a sucker for something that personal. I intended on writing back to her tonight, but the plane flight didn't get in until 2am, then we had to finish watching Downfall, and then it was after 4am. I'll write her tomorrow. My friend and I have a nice long day with nothing to do so it'll give time to chill, and just hang.

New layout now, new year around the corner

So, I probably should have been doing graphic editing work for The Agency these last 2-3 hours, but I decided that I was just gonna change layout's around and such. Yeah, I'm smart. I've spent a lot of time with some of my best friends this past week. I managed again, to get my dose of large, loud, family holiday goodness since I don't get it from mine. Two of my bests (I have a bunch) and I have been going through the Bourne trilogy... a feat we will complete on this coming Friday night.l I'll be seeing Distracted Spunk hopefully tomorrow, since I haven't seen her yet over this break, and then having a sleepover on the 29th with most of my bests in anticipation of New Years festivities.

For anyone keeping records, this Christmas will be dubbed "The Practical Christmas", work clothes, work tools, sewing kit, candy, gift cards, money. I'm cool with that.... must be getting old.

I'm in the process of ordering supplies for my desk at the Agency. Apparently it's sure enough now that I'm staying that they're letting me take all sorts of supplies from the closet and place a requisition for the things they don't have. It's crazy looking through a catalog like that for myself and settling in how I want my desk and drawer files arranged. I'm starting my career... and I like that a lot. I've said/felt all along that I didn't really just want another job, I wanted a career. I have every intention of staying with The Agency for the next 25+ years. I'll have fantastic benefits, a surprisingly flexible schedule, virtually no work taken home that I don't want taken home, weekends totally free, a good commute, and I get to work with good people performing very rewarding services. It's the job of a lifetime and I'm very lucky to have found it.

I'm starting a list of my plans for the coming year, so that next year I can see what I anticipated and what I got... In no particular order,
Getting a new (used) car
Traveling to NC, NY, VA, WV, ME, OR, CA twice, and hopefully Canada,
To continue writing A Life Worth Living...
Exploring Philadelphia
Becoming a permanent employee of The Agency
Feeling good about my level of physical health, appearance, and long term well being
Finally writing a part or whole of a book
Developing my ideas for a comic book series
Composing some seriously awesome BSG inspired music, and an 'orriginal' Christmas album
Learning to play the djembe and guitar better
Growing a bonsai tree

and maybe... just maybe, finding a girlfriend.... wherever she might be hiding.

What a frakking week...

This week started and ended on the two of some of the worst two freaking notes that I could pretty much have. Or maybe, just two of the biggest inconveniences. Or maybe not even that, and I'm just a materialistic frakking American. I don't know. I mean, signed on to write this post about how two of the worst things possible happened to me but I can't figure out why I'm still alright and not as phased as I feel that maybe I should be. As my fingers start to flow over the keyboard, and my mind fuels their direction, I find that I'm not really writing what I expected to be writing. So, the facts of the matter, are that on last Saturday my car was totaled, and this Saturday my $500 phone was somehow crushed in a car door. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a person who thinks things are just simply expendable, and have the ability to throw money at the problem like whatever, but I don't feel nearly as upset about those things as I feel like I should be... like I was last year this time.

Last year this time, I was just about to break through and start to come out of my full on depression. I had watched 87 episodes of Inu Yasha and scores of other movies and tv shows online, closed, in my room avoiding the world. I spent till all hours of the night perfecting my first report for The Agency, back when they still had me on a long leash working from home. Looking back I was so closed to the world that I wouldn't even want my windows opened in my room. Yeah, it was more than just the first accident with my car, it was that "post-college graduate funk" that we all go through, it was the complete withdrawal from anything IV at all, and of course my seasonal affective disorder. I was a mess... in the lowest point that I've been to thus far in life.

Now, they're just things. The car can be replaced, shit like that happens, it wasn't my fault and it'll all be alright. I'll get a car that I like, or I'll get some other good fortune out of it, like taking transplanting the old dark interior into my new car with a light interior with Surfer Boy. We'll spend the weekend, bond, have a good time, and I'll learn a hell of a lot more about my car. Is it an inconvenience now, yeah, but there's really nothing permanently detrimental in any way happening. The train takes me to work, my parents help out cause they're awesome, and I get to re-appreciate the value of just having a car. The phone can be replaced, it's just a phone, there are over 2 billion of them out there. Yes, it sucks it was my money I just cracked, and that I have to endure whatever reaction I'm gonna get from dad, but I screwed it up and nothing's really gonna change that. So I suck it up, deal with it, and move on.

There are so many worse things that could have happened. Deaths, personal injuries, global incidents.... Seriously, something like a Christmas bombing in Jerusalem would be loads worse than my personal auto or shitty phone. My aunt has been through an unbelievable road of some really rough shit in the past five years. These things of mine don't even play into any of it. They're so far removed from being anything remotely important it's absurd. Maybe I'm just in a better place this time, maybe this is part of my transition to a more adult thought process, maybe I'm starting to accurately assess the value in the different things in my life..... but whatever it is, I think it's definitely a step in the right direction, to a better me.

The blind leading the sighted...

Today was one of those days, that 2 years ago I would never have though possible. Not because it wasn't possible, but just because I'd had a cumulative total of "zero" experience with it. So I was at The Agency at work, like I am every day, and my boss was out so it was just me and MJ. Around leaving time, she asked if I wanted to figure out how to take the subway back to the train station. Now let's pause a moment. I'm you're normal, average, wearing glasses but see 20/20 like most people. MJ on the other hand, has a seeing eye dog. I know she can tell light/dark and some shades, but beyond that I'm not all too sure. And yes, she's going to teach me how to use the subway. I have no idea where the subway is and I'm not really a subway traveler except when I'm in DC or Chicago... even NYC until just very recently.

Working daily with MJ inspires me by itself, let alone the times like these that just become overwhelming in their own way. She's amazing too, in that she seemed to think nothing of it. That she was just showing a colleague another mode of transportation for them when the weather's bad or something. It went just like that... I met her at closing time and we walked out of the building. Took the elevator down to the lobby and then I basically just told her to lead the way, and lead she did. She turned right and led us out the other door than the one we usually take when we just walk through the city to the trains. Down the street, through two lights, made a left, walked down to the middle of the block and turned right into the stairway down to the subway entrance that I didn't even see from the road until we were almost on top of it. She took me right down the steps, showed me where the tickets were and how to use the system because it was different from the normal train tickets. Knew which stop to get off at and how to get up to the main level of the train station. All this, with virtually an insignificant amount of functional vision. These are the kinds of things she does every day.... and every day she's extraordinary.