November 9: Shhh, I'm sleeping.

Because I didn't get any all weekend. I was up back-posting and reading that Newsweek article till after 6am. By the time the sun started coming up I figured I should head to sleep. If any of you were wondering why the heck I labeled the last post "90210" it's because of Luke Perry.

I fully believe, that every misguided and romanticized view of dating, love, and relationships come from the years I was spellbound by 90210. I feel like I've written about this before, or maybe it's one of those drafts still sitting partially written, but looking back I internalized many things from those characters that I tried to incorporate into me. From why I got my first Zippo lighter to why I felt it was ok to loose my virginity as young as I did and a hundred more subtle things in between. As far as the Zippo story goes, it's simple really. I have an image of a scene in my head of one of the episode's endings. Luke Perry laying down on a couch, in his jeans and shirt, to go to sleep and the episode fading out on him lighting and staring at the lighter, fade to black.

This is short, because I'm actually slepeing right now ;-)

November 8: Mixed weekend

Last night was awesome. We had a bonfire and cook out back in the woods at my friend's house. Most of our group was there and it was nice to all be together again. We didn't even have to do anything other than all just be together hanging out. That's one of the many things I love about us. We drank more than our fair share and had a great time. The girls would go off and talk their girl talk stuff, and we guys would talk our own talk around the fire when they walked away. Simply awesome.

Today however, was alright. We slept in (9am woo hoo...) made breakfast and then just hung out, I made an appointment to see why my car's SRS light is on, read more of this absolutely awesome NEWSWEEK article about some of the inside story of this historic presidential race, and then fell asleep. That, was apparently not the smartest thing to do, because I was a sour-pus for the rest of the night. We went out to New Brunsiwck to hit up the bars and just have a night out on the town which I was beyond not feeling. I drove so I didn't have to drink and spent money I didn't want to spend which was good, and then spent the rest of the time stressed out for some unknown reason and totally not enjoying myself. No one to txt to distract me, and the rest of them were off either hanging with their significant other or trying to work their magic on some of the bar's female patrons. Me, I found myself very captivated by SportsCenter and then LOST when they turned that on. I'm not really a big LOST fan, probably because I just haven't gotten into it, but it held my attention tonight. I had more cloves this night to try and knock off the edge of the stress than I've had since the summer program. Not that it worked all that well, but the time outside of the bar was helpful enough at least.

And now, as it's 5:10am and I'm writing this, I don't feel all that tired, and am fighting the urge to just drive home. I don't know why but I just wanna go. I can hear DS saying in my head, "Then just go." right now but that still doesn't mean I'm going to do it. It's not that simple, I'd have too many questions to answer about why/when I left, etc. And as much as I'd like to leave and go to sleep in my bed, it's not worth it. I think for tonight, I'm going to set my zippo on the table and stare at the flame for a while till I fall asleep.