Keeping up with the pace

It's been an interesting 'holiday' weekend.

I got 5 days off with virtually perfect weather and no real plans to tie me down to anything. It was glorious. Spontaneous bonfires, much catching up with friends I haven't seen in the past few months, a fun time with family, and even finally got working on a secret project for my brother that I've had started for well over a year now. I'll post pics when I finally give it to him, because I'm expecting it to turn out awesome.

I'm comfortable saying I've beaten my cold and am back to about 95% health. My HP bar is full enough to continue on my way without stopping to continue to fill it.

I'm actually ahead (comparably to where I've been) in my financial situation at the moment.

I'll be taking my typewriter and going to my cabin in the woods this coming weekend to knock out 4 chapters of my yet to be started book and hopefully have enough to submit to a week-long workshop I want to go to that's taking place in the fall.

Nothings really wrong at the moment.

It's like a breath is being held while the shoe is in the air dropping. I don't know... I suppose we'll just have to see what happens...

In an interesting twist of male/female relations I actually met someone over the weekend who I am genuinely intrigued by. I'm certainly not attempting to defy the predictions of my "coffee grind reading" but she's intriguing. Maybe it's just that she's someone new, maybe it's cause a close friend of mine who knows her thinks we have a lot of similarities and she's been trying to get us in the same room since before New Years.... Either way, that finally happened this weekend, and while the situation was less than ideal, she still caught my interest. I've got less than no clue if it were the same vice versa, but I have a feeling if it was that I'll know about it in a few days time.

And now, I'm going to hopefully be able to wait and see the first episode of a new Firefly-based web series.

Frame of mind

When my cousin read my coffee grinds... see previous post... One of the things she said about me right now is that I was burned badly in a previous relationship (right on) and that I had separated that relationship part of me out and have left it to the side.

This couldn't be more right.

I want nothing to do with any relationship right now of any kind... I tease at the thought of it for this person or that... but ultimately... It. Ain't. Happening.

Yes, a lot of it is probably due to that burn. I haven't really set about processing it (frankly I can't quite comprehend it even still) and not processing/comprehending that situation... well... it sure as shit doesn't let me get over it.

More than that though, I just don't want to deal/hear with the minutiae of the other person in a relationship.

I don't want to know how your day was, I don't want to know where you are, where you're going, what you've done, that you're going to fold your laundry, or any other daily shit-task that you're doing. I don't want to make small talk. I don't want a routine to say goodbye at night. I don't want to hear how you're feeling unless I ask...

I have neither the energy or will to care.

Maybe that's cold... but I don't really care about that either.

In regards to relationships that's where my mind is at right now. And if you want to screw... well... you can give it a shot, but 9 times out of 10 it's gonna end up being a no anyway. That's just not typically me. Not for any cockamamie religious belief... those are the furthest things from my mind right now... but simply because the reward isn't worth the risk in my head. It's that simple.

I think I like this spaced out, more stream of conscious type formatting for the blog. I've read other people who use it, and found it annoying at first... however... I've written more in the past week like this then I have in the past few months. And quite frankly, writing something is better than writing nothing for me right now.

Hope it doesn't bother the 3 of you who read this all that much :-p

My Anchor....

So, the other day, my cousin's wife read my coffee grinds.

That's right, I said coffee grinds... Apparently an old gypsy who lived upstairs in a complex her parent's owned taught her how. I shit you not.

Now, anyone who knows me, knows I don't play with that kind of stuff. Never paid a psychic, had tarot read, fortune told, etc. I have an issue with people monetizing that kind of thing.

However this was just something my cousin did... so, because she's family now, I went with it.

She read my brother first, and was eerily accurate. She talked about my brother's new relationship without being told about, and details about it as well. Like that they're mushy... which they are.

Ok... fine. Then me. Also, right on. Everything I'm working on will go well (gotta love predictions of good fortune). However I've been burned badly by a recent relationship (Dzia, which she totally knew nothing about... in fact... no one did.... cause I haven't told anyone... err... wanted to talk about it at all actually) and that due to that burn I've totally separated out my relationship stuff for at least the next year and a half (till most movie promotion stuff is done, dead on) but at the end of that I'll probably end up with the person I'm going to be with. She said, "You're going to find your anchor in life."

I had never thought of that 'elusive someone' as an "anchor". At first I joked about, oh great... someone to weigh me down and keep me in one place... but the more I thought about it the more that kinda made sense.

Someone who can keep me grounded. Let's me float on top of the water but not get carried away. Holds me securely in a storm. But someone who can come with me on all my journeys and travels. Someone who is an important part of everything I do and the places I will go in life.

I never used the image of an 'anchor' as an analogy for "her" before...

Now, I don't imagine I'll ever not think of her that way.

I bought a typewriter... and other sterotypical things

It's a nice typewriter. I'm actually very excited about my typewriter. I hope it actually fulfills my expectation of helping me not be distracted when I write (type?) and isn't only "well I want to be a writer so I should get a typewriter like all the other famous writers had and used".

I tend to be ridiculous like that sometimes.

Ok. Maybe more often than sometimes.

But who's keeping score.

I'm not.

In addition to my typewriter, I've secured a cabin in the woods for a weekend to type on it. Just far enough outside the beaten path to not effectively get cell reception or data services.

I'll be cut off from the world.

In a cabin.

Writing what I hope to be the first few chapters of a book.

On a typewriter.

Anyone have recommendations for sufficiently stereotypical meals I can/should cook for myself?

Maybe swordfish steaks??

Perhaps I've just ventured off into the deep end.....

Comfortable vs. Familiar

Comfortable:
Expecting the other person to be there.
Dropping a deuce while the other person is in the shower.
Pissing while the other person gets ready at the sink in the morning.
Passing gas while watching a movie in the living room
Belching out loud at the dinner table or just randomly
All the little fucking things that your parents always (or should have) told you were "impolite"
And still, expecting the other person to be there, or worse, care as little as you do
(Exceptions are made for couples who previously establish they don't care about those things, ie. not me.)

Familiar:
Noticing yourself smiling when you pull in the driveway because the other person is home first
Taking note of bathroom schedules well enough so that you're both in there for showers only
Waking up 20 minutes early to get ready early so the other doesn't have to work around you
Politely stifling a belch when the other person isn't looking
Waiting for the other person to leave or leaving the room to pass gas quitely
Helping with the dishes cause you know it's not their favorite thing to do
Noticing yourself smiling when going to bed cause you're with them and they're with you.

Maybe I'm just an idealistic, hopeless, romantic...
So what.

Maybe my ideas will change with age...
Maybe.

But settling for just being comfortable...
Not a chance.

My resolution for 2010... is to grow an ego...

But not too much of one of course. Just a Goldilox sized ego and a bit of a thicker skin while I'm creating my wish list. Let's backtrack slightly...

I've been quite busy these past few months. Dragon*Con was 20-hours days of the most epic sci-fi/fantasy themed part that I had ever been to. For those who have never heard of or been there, it's a 60k person convention in the heart of Atlanta, Ga. Spread out over a series of 4 massive hotels, 24 hour a day programming from start to finish... if you can stay awake the whole time, there will be something scheduled for you to do. It was an amazing experience. The pannel for Browncoats:Redemption was an overwhelming success as well with our "street team" having handed out nearly 6,000 postcards advertizing the time and location. In a room that held 250 individuals, we packed it above fire code and had to turn people away. It was fantastic. It was riding high on a cloud the rest of the time.

Work got back in full swing as well. I'm finding an increasing dislike for the politics and supposed 'benefits' of state employment. It's changing me in a way that I am not taking kindly to. I see people, co-workers, who might work an average of a solid 9-10 hours a week out of a 35 hour work week. I look at myself, objectively, and see that at my 'best' week I might work myself between 20-25 hours. Somehow, that makes me look a head and shoulders above all the rest and a real 'enthusiastic young go-getter'. I'm increasingly disturbed by this. Disturbed enough that if I can find a simple way to get some kind of decent health insurance, even at COBRA rates, I'd take it and start from scratch. Yes, even in this employment climate. Maybe I'm a fool... but it'd one of the first employment (or lack thereof) choices that I've actually made myself rather than simply settling into what I've found myself in. [These thoughts are predominately in the "thinking out loud" category]

Big Apple Comic Con was more or less a bust. A day spent handing out a mere handful of cards and of all the special guests I was willing (or able) to pay for was Miracle Laurie who was an absolute doll, no pun intended. The nicest most down to earth I've met. She was the sole highlight of the convention.

Creation's Firefly/Serenity convention in LA was an experience not to be forgotten. Went out early to see an old friend, got to watch the new Star Trek movie on the bridge of the Enterprise D, went places and met people I'm not legally allowed to even tell anyone about yet. Love to go into more detail, really I would. But suffice it to say, I met just about all the actors that were there and then some. Solidified some friendships, made some new ones and memories to last it all.

As for what started this post... I've been watching a lot of tv/movies in the past month noting all kinds of inconsistencies, ways they achieved desired effects, critiquing story... looking at all of these things with a new eye. While I'm sure this is all due to my working on Redemption, it's made me all too aware that I haven't made good on working toward some of the dreams I had when I was younger. Ever since Babylon 5 I've wanted to make science fiction stories. That's most of the reason why I have the entire scriptbook colection and then some. My thought being" If I have the blueprint for this show, then I can use it to make my own from. It would be like having a walk-through to how it was done before so I could do it for my own while learning from the trials of others. I can see now it's not going to be quite that simple but the frame work holds albeit loosely. A lot of the behind the scenes that I've watched, directors interviews, creators diaries, etc have all talked about 'making the movie/tv show that they wanted to watch'. Perhaps it was Spielberg or Lucas who said it best, and I loosely paraphrase, if I make the best possible show that I want to watch then there are going to be others out there who are going to like it and watch it too. I can't imagine a writer making a living writing books on a subject or in a genra he or she abhors. I've gotta grow just enough of an ego so that I feel more than just a want, but a need to write the stories or shows or movies that I want to see, and to believe that others will want to see them too. Right along with that, the thicker skin that when someone doesn't want to, that's ok too. Most of my friends from HS would never be caught willingly going to Star Trek or seeing any of the hundreds of tv show episodes of various sci-fi programming that I've watched. I've missed out on workshops and conventions because I didn't have, or didn't have enough orriginal material to submit to be considered to invite (Viable Paradise I'm looking at you). I think it's about high time that I change that. So here's to unexpected and extra-ordinary new years resolutions, a right sized ego and a thicker skin. Welcome 2010.

Dragon*Con Day 0

So, it's anyone's best guess how much 'free' time I'm going to have while at the convention to write, so I figure to help pass the over 3 hours that I'm early to the airport for my flight to Atlanta I might as well start now! My phrase for the day in reagards to how I'm feeling has been that "my excitement bubbleth over" and that certainly applies! Starting with getting here to the airport waaaaaay early and now just sitting here nearly bouncing waiting to go (though part of the bounce I'm sure is the 3 cups of coffee I had at the resturant for breakfast). I'm also of the oppinion that the best waitress/waiter people are in airport resturants. So nice and attentive and actually stop to have a conversation about where you're headed and what's on the itinerary! Pancakes, bacon, potatos, and coffee for $10... that's about all it takes to satisfy me in the morning(free airport wi-fi is just like an added dessert)!

Plane is not here yet, but it takes off around 1pm so I'm not too concerned. I took the time to e-mail the realtor I've been working with looking for a condo and let her know that I'm just not going to be able to swing it right now. I can make the mortgage payments and even the down payment, but after really really detailing out what my budget would look like it turns out I'd have $21 extra unallocated money per month. That's so not going to cut it. Any hickup in the status quo and I'd be underwater faster than a mob informant with a cinderblock chained to his feet. So, I'm back to considering other options, apartment with roomate, staying at home with a bit more strict of a budget/plan, or anything else that might come up. While it wasn't exactly what I'd have liked to have happened, it does work out, and in fact might speed up my overall life plans. In a few short years I can have both my timeshare and movie prop and costume collection entirely paid off which would put me very much ahead, and even have some more saved up so I can get a bigger place sooner. Instead of having the intermedieary condo now, I can pay off my future stuff and then get the bigger more permanent condow before 30 instead of after. Kind of exciting when I look more at the future than my wants in the present.

That would then give me 10 years to find the perfect property on a lake in PA to buy when my life insurance intrest matures enough to where I can pull out a few hundred thousand and possibly have my cabin built and livable before 50! That would totally be awesome. Now, obviously this is just the outline/rough draft as you can imagine. Things like, injury, spouse, WWIII, etc might play a part in how it all goes... but I've got a dream and a plan!

Now, I know this hasn't really been about Dragon*Con yet, but whatever. I'm not there yet, and really haven't really looked at the schedule too well so I should probably get on that while I still have the wi-fi. My main purpose there is really to promote Browncoats:Redemption, overflow our pannel venue (which is Sunday morning, September 6th at 11:30am at the Marriot in rooms L401-403 on the first floor, tell all your friends), and ideally having all the major news outlets covering the convention a buzz with our film!!! And ya know, if I happen to meet Patrick Stewart or someone, well, that's ok too ;-)

Browncoats: Redemption

So, one of the most prominent activities that has been taking up more time than I've actually ever sat down and counted is the independent film I've been working on called Browncoats:Redemption. Well, since May 4th, which was basically the last real post, I've gone down to MD in excess of twenty times to help build, promote, and show off our set. We had an 8,000 sq ft warehouse in which we built the set for the ship. It probably was the most physically and mentally challenging experience I've been involved with ever. Whether it was the mental intensity required to plan and figure out just how we're going to build the cargo bay, or frame the cockpit window of the ship, or the physical endurance of raising a 12ft wide by 16ft high wall and holding it in place while it was secured to the wall, building these sets took everyone's abilities and forced us to operate as sharp as we ever have to get the job accomplished.

I've helped build the sets for high school musicals, even worked with a friend's construction company for a while, but the amount of confidence and new found ability I've taken away from this project is unparalleled. To quote Firefly, we literally "did the impossible, and that made us mighty." According to Facebook I've made 47 new and close friends from this project. Wonderful, amazing people that possess a dedication and loyalty that is all too rare nowadays. We all truly bonded over Redemption to the level that a score of us get together monthly for our "Shindig's" to keep the spirit and friendship we've formed intact until (and hopefully after too) the movie's official release at Dragon*Con 2010.

I could go on and on, but I'll leave it at that. Over the course of the next year I'll be periodically posting behind the scenes pictures, explanations of how we did what we did, stories, anecdotes, and memories from filming. I've no doubt that over the course of just building the set I've spent hundreds of hours driving to, from or working on this project, and as such is probably the biggest chunk of time that took me away from sitting at a computer typing. I suppose that's the trade off of living life, instead of letting it live you... or something like that.

This coming weekend I will be at Dragon*Con promoting the movie, hanging out with many friends, and trying to conquer the overwhelming scope of this convention so that next year, for the movie premier, I'll be like a pro ;-) If any of the handful of you have your interest piqued please head over to the website for Browncoats:Redemption for more information, behind the scenes videos, and the latest information about our project!!! For now, I leave you with the teaser to our Panel and Trailer release at Dragon*Con 2009:

Browncoats: Redemption Dragon*Con 2009 Panel & Trailer Announcement from browncoatsmovie on Vimeo.

Time passes....

I finally sorted through well over 500 blog posts clogged up in my reader from my pasts month's endeavors. I will go through what I've been up to, eventually. However for the moment, this will suffice. Hello again world.

I half wrote this so I don't forget what I'm doing....

So, it's been over a month since I've written here. Somewhere in there I caught a nasty stomach/sinus bug from hell (well before this swine flu BS), spent 4 weekends filming on an independently produces science fiction movie set in the Firefly/Serenity universe (of which I have a production journal from and will be released on here at a later date), got overwhelmed at school (which sucks because I'm not particularly motivated to learn APA format and how to write for a counseling/psychology degree) and had one hell of a busy April at work with my seniors graduating and wanting to know what's the deal with college. So yeah, free time = nonexistent.

As it is, on Wednesday I'm leaving for Los Angeles for the second and final Battlestar Galactica Prop and Costume Auction. I'm not sure what, if anything I'll bid on, because if I'm anything resembling responsible, I've got no money like that to really spend. That being said, I'll be sure to report what I do buy and how much my bank account will be crying about it. Also be seeing a good friend from a summer program we both volunteer at since he lives out there and I'm all about crashing on couches!!

Friday I head to Vegas for 4 days to hang out by the pool and do/think about absolutely nothing except where my next drink is coming from and if I want to jump in the water now or later. I anticipate a lazy, relaxing, awesome good time since our hotel just got upgraded to directly on the Strip down the street from the Bellagio!!! Also meeting up with some friends who will be out there already too.... it's a party in Las Vegas!!!

Then it's a red-eye flight back to work on the Wed after this one and back to the daily grind once again.... at least for two days and then I'm down to Virginia for the weekend when my fellow Browncoats and I invade a Dave and Busters for some good old mischief and mayhem.

Finally to round out the month, our 8th annual camping trip with all my closest friends from HS and starting work on building a spaceship called Redemption. Already purchaced and dumpster dove for items that we'll be using to help make her look awesome. When people ask me what I did after this coming summer... I can't wait to see the look on their face when I say, "Well, I helped build a space ship!"

If only I had a spare $35,000,000

I'd be moving to England and be called Lord of the Manor...

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE52F4RX20090316

Too much of a fun fantasy to pass up posting. Real post to follow later tonight.

Home till Thursday

I just can't shake whatever this secondary bug is that I got. I took Tues and Wed off from work because 1. I can, and 2. if I don't I don't see myself getting any better. Here's to 2 days of sleeping, soup, and ..... something else that begins with an "s" that I can't think of right now :-)

Blech

I'm not happy I'm still sick and unfortunately feeling like I'm getting sicker.

I'm not happy I'm single with 0 current active prospects.

I'm not happy I'm living at home and have to deal with nagging about going to sleep and saving my money.

I'm not happy that I have a stupid midterm test on Monday on information all out of a book that he expected us to just read and 2 power points he whisked through (... just a hint buddy, real life is open book, we can talk to the person next to us, and we don't typically have to answer all the questions in a 45 minute block of time).

I'm not happy my room is messy and things aren't where they belong because I'm still cramming my life into a room in my parents house.

I'm not happy that the highlights of any week consist of driving to Philadelphia and drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

Probably most of all, I'm not happy that if certain things don't pan out, I'm going to have to rent someplace again because I can't live my life where I am or the way I am right now.

But I'm doing fine... how are you?

Unproductivity and the like

I wish I knew why my time spent on the computer revolves around refreshing my Facebook home page. I would really like to be doing more productive things than that....

Speaking of not being able to be productive... I find it a sick joke that the universe decides to give me not only a Sunday free, but a snow day on Monday, while simultaneously providing me with the worst stomach virus I've had in 15+ years. I'll spare everyone the gory details but it's as bad as you could imagine, maybe worse for those of you with weak stomach's. I was incapacitated on Sunday to the point I couldn't even sit at my computer. It was laying on the bed or laying on the couch and that was it. But, on the upside I suppose, here's to loosing 10 pounds in 32 hours! I'm not sure how much of that was simple dehydration, but hopefully not too much.

Another things sapping my productivity are 4 episodes of 24 in my Hulu queue. And of course, it's not just the filler episodes, but the four leading up to what some might term a 'mid season cliffhanger'. This also means that my attention is riveted to my second monitor except for the 30 second Hulu commercial breaks, where I'm typing this post. One comment on the episodes... if FBI and others don't have waterproof and shockproof cell phones in real life it'd be the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Anyway... I'm going to stop near live-blogging my Hulu watching experience and end this post before I take any more characters to say absolutely nothing of substance or value...

Throwback

I had a spontaneous dinner today with the person whom I'd probably consider my first 'real girlfriend'. I met her Freshman year in our Freshmen English class. I remember seeing her sit across from me in the chair closest to the door. The classroom was set up in 4 long rows. Two with their backs to the window facing the other two rows with their backs to what was the hallway. I was two seats from the board in the first row.

(Anecdotal note: the guy sitting behind me in that class I was friendly with, but I don't know that I'd say we were ever really friends. He did football; I did basketball; We just ran in different circles. Always pleasant, friendly, gave a wave if we saw each other in the hallway or in the development where he lived and where E and I would play ball every summer. I mention this not because it has anything to do with the story, but because I feel I'd be doing a disservice to his memory if I didn't mention him. He died at Virgina Tech.)

Purl, as I'll call her, the two other girls and I always worked together whenever we had a group project of any kind. When we didn't have a group project, we competed to see who would get the better grade on each and ever assignment. We'd write a "B" or a "B-" on a sheet of notebook paper and flash it up at the other person, teasing them about the grade we thought they'd get. Quickly it progressed passed in class banter and we started hanging out outside of school. I'd get my parents to drop me off at her friend J's house where there would be another quartet of us who would spend virtually all of the summer btw Freshman and Sophmore year together. J&J and Purl and I. We went to the movies, hosted parties, walked around the neighborhood, lit sparklers on the fourth of july, spent a day at Dorney Park, or just stayed in, made popcorn, and watched movies, at least until we'd split off and do 'coupple things'.

So many different memories flood back writing this. The Exorcist (first kiss), Titanic (first other things), the Sprite bottle (J(male) and I pissed in it for some reason I can't quite remember, as a joke or to get back at someone's ex or something. We stopped them before they drank it though), the accident... (J (female) fell in the basement and severely hit her head. She had amnesia for days while in the hospital. I remember going to visit her, brought her a letter/poem I had written for her. Also never forget the moment she looked up at me and said my name because she finally remembered who I was.)

Anway, all these flashbacks played on repeat during the lead in time until our dinner. She looked exactly as I had remembered/expected her to. The wonders of Facebook and knowing more about someone's life than you can typically get from an hour conversation I suppose. Suffice it to say, it was like we were just going out for our weekly Friday dinner. Constant, meaningful conversation peppered with laughter, memories, and the insight that comes from knowing someone over a decade. As much as I figured that's how it would go, it was still nice to have it turn out that way. Married life was good, her house was coming along, and her labrador reminds her daily that she does not and can not handle children at the moment. Which, all things considered, I suppose is a good thing... it's strange enough knowing she's married and I'm just still here...

Not going to lie...

... totally shed a tear when Heath just won.

Too damn soon...

Grace in Small Things 3

1. Living yet another 365.25 days on this planet.

2. Alanis Morissette's voice and poignant songwriting.

3. Birthday wishes on Facebook that I can't keep up with :-)

4. An evening of the music of Simon & Garfunkel by the talented A.J Swearingen and Jonathan Beedle.

5. Meeting some of my closest friends after the concert to celebrate the "Havana's" way!

25.

No, not the Facebook meme.

That's the age I turn today at 2:08pm. I'm not sure I have any specific feelings on the age. I can now rent a car with no extra fees or questions, which I suppose is the last real milestone. From here on out it's counting every age that ends on a '0'. In brief retrospect it feels like the last 25 years were all entirely foundational making me the person I've become today. I'm not sure the process is quite complete yet, but I fully expect that sometime in the next few years I'll be able to live as me rather than continually looking to define a 'me' to live as.

I raise my proverbial glass... to making it this far. Here's to hoping that, at a minimum, I'm only a quarter done.

Zeke

Grace in Small Things 2

1. The healthy meals that I tend to cook for myself only when I'm in Philly.

2. My new Asus EeePC, because it's awesome and will perfectly suit me for grad school.

3. Birthday's and birthday parties.

4. A hot cup of green tea with honey and lemon first thing in the morning

5. Microsoft Songsmith, because it's awesome

Questions and Answers

The lovely and eloquent Hope posted a Q&A meme and invited her readers to be interviewed as she was, and of course... how could I refuse! Here's her questions and my answers.

If you would like to take part, here are the rules.

1. Leave me a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I’ll email you five questions, of my determination not yours!
3. You update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are my answers.

1. Which line or section from President Obama's speech resonated with you?

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake."

I still am not sure I have words to explain the feelings behind the tears that those lines brought to my eyes. Those lines form the ideal that I believe that is/should be in the heart of the American Soul. I'm so overcome by such a varied feeling of emotions my vocabulary is woefully inadequate to explain what I mean. I will work to rectify this...

2. What do you think is the biggest or most important difference between men and women?

I think the most important difference is that men and women don't mature at the same time or at the same rate. Maybe I just see it more with the developmentally delayed students that I work with, but a girl at 15 or 18 can do much more than a (diagnostically) similarly delayed boy of the same age. Maybe it's why I've been noticing women 10+ years older than myself in a way I hadn't previously noticed them.

3. If you could have the job of any character from a TV show which would it be?

I'd want the job of Admiral William Adama from Battlestar Galactica. Not just to be out in space or to command a fleet of ships, but because there was never any question about his role in life. The Cylons, their enemies, destroyed their world, chased them from their solar system, and his only task in life is to find Earth; to find a home for those humans who are left. He doesn't have the luxuary to decide if he really wanted to be a gardner, or who to go on a date with. Circumstances never allowed him to throw in the towel and quit. He has to dig deep inside of himself to find the strength to do whatever it is that he needs to do to because there's no one else to do it; there's nowhere else for him to go. That responsibility and that inevitibility of purpose entice me to no end.

4. Choose one single man made object that represents your personality. What would it be and why does represent you?

I think I'd have to say that I'm a Swiss Army Knife. But, not the ones you can hook on your keychain or give a Boy Scout when he turns 13, but the huge, unwieldy 80 tool in 1. There are so many different things that it can do and is useful for, but there's nothing that it's entirely sufficient for. It doesn't really specialize in one thing or have a singular purpose that it can complete to excellence. It has to rely on doing a lot of things well enough in order to have any value to anyone at all...

5. If you could discover that something you thought was true was actually false, what would you wish it to be? And why?

Maybe this is just a bit of a cop out because it's wildly unrealistic but I'd probably most wish that it turned out that my grandparents were all still alive and just vacationing together somewhere on some resort beach with no telephone access. I want/love a big family, extended family, cousins, grandparents, even crazy aunt's... and I have none of it. Having my grandparents back would fill that void quite a bit and being older as I am now (10 days shy of 25) I'd love nothing more than to sit and talk with them. Ironic, in the Alanis Morrisette definition of the word, since now I have the time and desire to sit, listen, and learn... there's no one left to listen to.