November 12: Like a great big practical joke...

My driver's license, has vanished without a trace. It's not in my car, my state car, the pile of artifacts on my bay window that typically fill my pockets, anywhere else in my room, or the wash. The only possible long-shot places are my camera bag at my boss's house or work. Either of which have about a 3% chance of actually being the location of my license. My vote is still my room. Don't know where (obviously) but I feel like I'm just going to come across it one day and be like 'wtf'. So, that was a fun panicked driving around all day. I mean, seriously, I'd have gone at least 5mph slower on the highway if I had known...

In other news, one more piece of the proverbial umbilical cord cut today. I am the proud owner of my own cell phone plan. Yep, at 24 and a day shy of 9 months my cell phone plan is now finally mine. Any charges, overages, internet fees, pictures, calls, everything is my own to deal with. I think the lack of license has overshadowed my feelings on it a bit, but I really am glad. It's one thing I never have to answer a question about ever again. I can call 411 if I freaking feel like it, jump online for a quick KB or two to get a score or e-mail or Google maps (not that I'll need to with my Kindle, but you know, I can now). Also got a second line with mine, so now I have my phone, and my work cell phone, so certain parents will no longer txt message me at 8pm on a Saturday about if their child can attend the program happening 10 months from that date!!! Bah... parents.

Adventures in time travel...

Dear Zeke,
Hi. This is your future self, about 10 years from now. I just wanted to write to you and tell you that there's no need to worry. In the future, you've got all the answers to all the questions you're asking yourself, you're fit and in the shape you want to be, and are comfortable with where you are in life. You're married to a great girl, having a grand old time watching your daughter grow up (who's now entering kindergarten by the way), and just started finishing the basement of the house you bought a few years back. All your close friends from high school are well within driving distance and you still get together regularly with them.

Sound too good to be true? Ding ding ding... Zeke, tell yourself what you've won!! Well, for one, reassurance that your sarcastic wit is as sharp as ever, that's for sure. Alright, sorry... I had to pull that prank on you because you know that's exactly what you wanted to hear, and you'd never actually believe it if it were told to you. Sure, some of it's accurate, but I'll leave that up to you to figure out which part.

Anyway, on to the point of this letter, since it really wasn't that easy to send back in time to you. I think Wil WheatonQ sums it up best when he said, "Your 20s are about gathering information and experience, and your 30s are about putting it to use." I know it's hard, and confusing, and most days you don't really know what you want or where you're going, but just keep on pushing through it. As ‘glass half full’ as this sounds, it really will pay off for you later, in that “it’s about the journey not the destination” kind of way.

You're going to spend countless hours driving aimlessly trying to make sense of things you can't even put a name to. You'll find scores of introspective songs to pass the miles to while you're trying to let your mind straighten itself out. Even if it doesn't seem like it's really helping then, it does. Don't underestimate the benefit of walking away and taking that personal time, it'll be the greatest help to your sanity besides maybe DS. Yes, you're still close friends with her, and the stuff you've been through together makes these current issues you're in the middle of look like the minor annoyance having to stop for gas when you’re already late to work.

I know that right now, you don’t have a clue about what type of girl you’re looking for and that it’s really bothering you. The confusion of not knowing what the hell you want and overanalyzing why you do or don’t want a particular quality is rather frustrating. Trust me, I know… I’ve been there. Unfortunately though, I don’t have a silver bullet for you on this. It’s not enough to tell you all the qualities of the woman I married, or rather, you will marry, because you’d just look at the list I give you and start overanalyzing it. But, I guess that’s about the only advice I can give you. Make a list. List what you like in your female friends, list what attracts you physically or mentally to someone, write about it; the process of working through it will be infinitely more valuable to you than just getting handed the answer, and infinitely quicker than betting on random chance that you’ll just happen to find her. Just know that you will find her. Maybe not in the way you expected, or where you expected, but she’s out there.

For a long while, longer than you’re comfortable with, your budget is going to be tight. That’s what happens when 20-somethings are starting out, and you’re not immune to that either. As tight as it may be though, keep finding ways to travel and make those random trips. Go to Chicago, Portland, and Los Angeles. Make those random, “Are you insane?” trips out to visit people you’ve never met in person before, or to see old friends for their birthday. Those will be memories and experiences that will go a long way in shaping who you become. You will meet some amazing people that you never expected to change your life, and others who you expected to, but ultimately left you unfulfilled. It’s alright, at the very least they’ll all make great characters in your future books.

So this is my, “Your 20’s really aren’t so bad… seriously” pep talk, because I know that’s exactly what you’ve been needing to hear right now. The reassurance that you will figure it all out, you will overcome these obstacles and you won’t completely f*** up your life. In a way, that’s probably all that anyone really wants. To be reassured that the path they’re on is the right one, or at least, just not the wrong one. You’ll figure out some of your problems, you’ll realize some aren’t as important as you thought, you’ll find new problems to over think and obsess over, but in the end you’ll still get up each morning and go to sleep each night.

Now go heed my advice, be reassured about life, and don’t make me have to write another one of these. It wasn’t easy or cheap re-wiring my quantum computer to send this back in time.



Me

Nothing special...

That last post kinda wore me out. It's like tangle of razor wire just fell on me and now I have to straighten it out without getting massacred in the process. I didn't plan on now being the time I opened all that stuff up, but I guess it's easier to start now than let a few more years add to it? I'll work on convincing myself of that at least. I'll do my best not to let this turn into an outlet for shitty, "I wish you loved me" spoo. So, a topic change.

My father is an interesting character. For all of his life that I can remember, he's stayed up late, done things on the level of guys 20 years his junior, and just always been young in heart and action. Now, he's 59 and I understand that perhaps he can't do that forever, but I find it interesting that only in the last 3 months has he realized this. It was like he did anything until he approached 60 and somehow that clicked something inside of him where it was like, "hey, I can't do this anymore" when in point of fact, he's no different from when he was 58 and doing everything. Personally, I hope I'm not in store for that. With how different he and I are I don't think so... I have every intention of skydiving from now until I'm 80 and then some. At some point I'm sure I'll have to slow down, but I'd like to do it gradually rather than just hit a point where I decide "I'm old" and must grind to a crawl. Though, I've got a few more years of some more important things to concern myself with before I have to decide how I'm going to be when I'm old... er...:-p