Sunday, September 11, 2005

Arggg

What a day. Spent from 9-3 at LDP's Passport to Programming. It was alright. I got to meet the executive board for Prism which was cool; now I have faces to the names. Can't say that I drastically learned anything new, however I did get many more resources to use with my walk in the shoes of Outreach Coordinator. The food wasn't that terrible for Sodexho either... Then drove to PetCo to get a fish tank stand, and Best Buy to get a 50' cat-6 cable... and ended up getting 2, 1gig PNY flash drives. I hate going into that store... I always buy too much. At least I restrained myself from getting the new iPOD nano that they had there... It's unbelievable to see in person. Go Apple... that's all I have to say on that.

Then work. I must be the only person who works at a day care from 5-10:30pm on a Saturday... So yes, the task seemed simple. Get my boss's computer to print. Easy enough right? No. You're wrong if you said yes. Here's what I'm dealing with: Computer 1. Windows ME, Computer 2. Windows NT4.0, Computer 3. Windows XP, Printer, HP business inkjet 1100d, and a Linksys 4 port printer switch with print server. So I decided to be an over achiever and put all 3 computers, and the printer on a network that could link them all to each other and make them all print. 5.5 hours, too many curses, too many apologies for the curses, and a broken floppy disk later... I won. They're all on a common network workgroup and they can all print. I've also decided I'm re-decorating my room and hanging the successful test pages on my wall....

So many different things have floated in, around, and through my mind recently it's been amazing that I've gotten any other work done that requires thought. From one trial to the next, one fear to the next, one issue to the next, I've felt just like the Andrea Gail on Halloween night, 1991. (Kudos go to anyone who can tell me what I'm referencing without looking it up on the internet) I've found myself "praying hard". Which is kinda funny because I couldn't figure out how to do it until I realized I was doing it... There are so many things I don't want to happen right now but just seem to be slowly, menacingly advancing upon me... and I keep wondering if that next step backwards is going to be the one that kicks the rocks off the edge of the cliff. He's getting ready to break me again I think... like He hasn't done that enough already, then again it is all according to His plan so I guess that means that He hasn't. There are so many things I'd like, but only so many that I am allowed to have. It's just a matter of finding the strength in Him in order to know the difference. No one's perfect... no one can lead that perfect Christian life because we all fail and we all fall and we are all human. Only one man was ever or will ever be perfect and that was my Jesus. We're called to strive to be as close to Him as we can, with the knowledge that we can never attain our goal, all the while holding onto the knowledge that He died for our imperfections, our faults, and especially... our failures. He knows we failed, that we're failing, and that we certainly will fail again. He just requires that we try, in a way that one can only understand once they've been touched... been changed by Grace. For if we don't give up on Him, and if we don't give up on ourselves, then He will never give up on us.

1 comments:

Someone special said...

I do have to say I completely agree with you that there was only ever one perfect person. But you do need to keep in mind that He will guide you through your life and that as long as you are truthfully trying, he will reward you with the best reward ever. A pass into his kingdom when we are done here. You've made mistakes, haven't we all. But it is how we deal with our mistakes, and being willing to ADMIT to our mistakes that helps us. And don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness.. as you said, that is why He died on the cross... for us all!