Monday, December 10, 2007

My six guys and I...

So, during the winter season, I work at a Christmas Tree farm, which I'm going to abbreviate CTF (despite how much that makes me think of 24). I love it. In fact, I love it so much , I'm debating about offering to assist during the 'off season' to learn how to run, take care of a farm because I think I want one myself one day. In another 10 years or so, I'd love to get a house, 10-15 acres and have the farm take up 10 or so. Today, in particular, was a fantastic day at the CTF. Not because of good weather, or phenomenal tips, but because we all got along so well and were so happy and having so much fun together. We laughed and joked and had a grand time the entire day. That's where the title of this post came from. We decided we're making a mini series that'll start on the Lifetime channel, and then on the sequels we'll make it bigger, onto HBO or something like that. It's gonna be like a kind of Brady Bunch Christmas Tree Farm. Such a great time... it made working there pass so quickly. I never really realized it before, but I'm the oldest one there. By 7 years. When they were born, I was in the middle of first/second grade. It kinda too me aback in all honesty. We all got along so well and had so much fun, it was nice to just joke around like a kid, more innocently again. Hah. "like a kid" I'm even talking like I'm an old man now. I wish we had a bit more time than just these three weekends, two of which have vanished already. I don't think it'd ever be the same if we met outside of it. Then the difference would be so much more evident. Why is a college grad hanging out with my child who's in high school, curfew's, parents giving rides, appearances, and etc... Maybe that's it. Maybe what I enjoy the most, as much as it's them, their personalities, our interactions, it's the fact that we can do so with out all of the differences/questions. That bubble of a little world on that wonderful 10 acre farm lets us fall back to a simpler time where everyone's actions weren't called into question first. Where you had to do something wrong before someone thought you were going to do something wrong.

Ok, enough of that. I rambled on for about 15 minutes to Distracted Spunk today. I'm glad she's one of my best friends. It makes it so much easier for me to talk about anything and just vent when necessary. I'm definitely in that stage in life where I'm moving forward but don't have a clue to what. Some days I don't even feel like I can see the road underneath each passing footstep. I can't imagine being 30, having worked for 8 years, and not feel any closer to having a direction/path in life. I can't imagine what clock's are ticking or voices are second guessing inside of one's head. I can't even feign confidence for a solid month at a time, I can't imagine near a decade.

I think this anonymity that I have here is good to develop the consistency of writing here on a regular basis, however, I can feel myself outgrowing it. There's something inside that wants people to be able to come and know who I am and read about my life knowing me. To put thoughts and feelings and stories and hyperboles associated with who I am. To blur the line between fact and fiction because I can, but also to just be able to write it all. I desire immortality. And since it's clear I'm not going to conquer any new worlds or be any kind of super hero.... an author, might be the best piece of ambrosia I've had with me all along...

For the picture of the day, I was behind this vehicle on the way home, and it was just too freaking cool to pass up:


1 comments:

distracted spunk said...

I love that picture. :)